KEEP ON KEEPING ON

Anyone who knows me, knows I have an addiction to learning. No matter how much we think we know, there is always more we can absorb and grow from. I once knew nothing about photography, but when I was gifted a camera for a long-ago birthday, I decided I wanted to learn how to use it properly. At that point in my life, I had neither the time nor money to invest in photography courses and workshops, so I set about learning everything I could myself in the pockets of free time I had.

I read books, watched videos, studied other photographers and their work, then practiced in any spare moment I had. It was hard. The visions I had in my head of the imagery I wanted to create was not what I was creating. It would have been easy to be disillusioned and give up—to listen to the voice in my head that said I’d never create an image someone else wanted to look at—but I didn’t. Instead, I searched for more books that would teach me, practiced in the few hours I had each day outside of my paying job, and learned as much as I could about the craft of photography.

Today, I work as a freelance photographer and have shot images for brands I could only ever have dreamed of. I am proud of the stories I create with my camera, yet still there is more to learn. There always will be.

Writing is the same. Some of us may be born with an inherent talent, but unfortunately, I was not. (Many) years ago, I remember an English teacher telling me I was the best writer he’d ever had in his class. If I’d have been smart then I would have interpreted that to mean what he probably meant by it, which was that if I worked hard, I might get somewhere with my writing, but as a naïve something-year-old, I took it literally. My teacher said I could write, so I could.

Years later, I would be lucky enough to find work as a writer and editor. In both England and Japan, I worked for recreational magazines produced for US troops serving overseas, and while I loved that job and all it taught me, it was not the same as writing my own novel.

I’ve wanted to write a novel since I was about eight. I can still remember the opening lines of a story I wrote when I watched a house across from ours take delivery of a roll of carpet. It was a suspense story, the genre I most love to read and write, and it involved an elderly lady watching a crime unfold. Sadly, I don’t have that story anymore, or that young mind, but what I do still have is the desire, the passion, the need to keep writing.

To write a novel I needed help. Not with discipline (I have lots of that in the guise of stubbornness), but with craft, just as I needed help to learn photography. I enrolled in writing course after writing course and studied with the Faber Academy, Curtis Brown, the Novelry, Kathy Fish, Tommy Dean and Nancy Stohlman. I also completed a mentorship with Gold Dust writers where I worked alongside the incredible Andrew Wilson.

All these courses and classes helped sculpt my writing into what it is today. (I plan on writing blog posts on each one for anyone wanting to know more about writing classes and courses). Yet still there is more to learn, there always will be.

Earlier this month I learned of a writing course being offered by Natalie Goldberg, author of Writing Down The Bones, a book that has been on my bookshelf for years. Natalie’s book was also recommended in several of the writing courses I have taken (if you don’t own it, buy it and read it over and over). I signed up. Natalie’s way of teaching (and inspiring) is unlike any other. She is, in my opinion, a quiet force in a noisy world—a soothing warm breeze in a raging storm—and I am loving everything about her and the way she teaches (details of her course will come in another blog post).

In the lesson I completed last night, Natalie said something so profound I am still thinking about it. She said: Continue under all circumstances. These four words not only apply to writing, but to life in general. And it is what I intend to do.

So, friends, the message behind this post is to keep writing, keep learning, keep on keeping on.

Thank you for reading,
Cat x

MARCH UPDATE

It has been quite a while since I last posted, four months for anyone counting, and while I have been very busy between my writing and my photography, I don’t really have a lot to report as far as updates to my novel go.

I officially started the querying process with my first novel, and have submitted it to a small number of agents. Across social media, I am reading that agents are receiving higher than normal submissions—partly, I am guessing, from lockdown—which means that the time to hear anything back is slightly longer than usual. I have trained myself to check my email once a day, which is a lot harder than it sounds. While I wait, I write, and I am now 31K words into book two.

The process for writing book two feels very different from book one, which I am presuming stems from the fact that I am more confident now as a writer (proof too, to me at least, that all the writing classes and courses I attended while writing book one, paid off.) I am much more relaxed this time around, and am not pondering over sentences and words the way I did on my first book. Book one taught me that a lot of the things I spent hours and days laboring over will likely be cut. In short, I am allowing my first draft to be just that… a first draft.

Since beginning book two, I have also thought of three other plots for novels. Two more psychological thrillers, and one women’s fiction/book club. If I could write as fast as I think, I’d have half a shelf full of completed novels already.

Well that’s my writing news for now. I’ll be back with another update in April, when perhaps I’ll have some news from the agents who currently have my query. Fingers and toes crossed.

WRITING BOOK TWO

While I let my first novel sit for a while before rereading it (again) so I can perform another round of edits before querying it, I have started writing book two. As with my first novel, it is a psychological suspense story with lots of twists and a rather complex plot. The short version right now is that it’s about a woman who mysteriously vanishes. What follows is the uncovering of shocking secrets and deceit. The long version will be written, hopefully by spring of 2022.

Since completing my first novel—can’t believe I am able to write that sentence, as I really felt that first book would never end—I have continued to learn as much as I can about the craft of writing, as it is a craft that must be learned. Everything book one taught me, along with all the workshops, writing classes and the invaluable mentorship, has helped me start this second novel with more confidence than the first one. This time around I am writing with a clearer idea of where my story is going, and while I will never be a true plotter (I like the freedom of allowing my story and characters to move the story in the direction they choose), I have planned this novel out much more than book one. In fact, with this story, the ending came to me first. This may sound crazy, but I had a vision in my head of the closing scene, as if I were watching it on a movie screen. I knew that was the ending for a novel, so from there I planned my story backwards, asking myself constantly how the story ended at that point.

I shared the idea with a friend who loved it and encouraged me to go forward. What has evolved is a very twisty plot that will need unraveling with care to ensure I keep all the threads in order. It is both exciting and a bit frightening.

With my first novel, I spent weeks developing my characters and deciding on names, which to me are very important. For this novel, the characters came to me quicker, and once I had what ‘felt’ like their correct names, I started writing.

While I wait to begin querying book one, I’ll post updates on my writing process for book two.

So far I am five chapters in.

WHY I WANT TO BE PUBLISHED

I recently completed another round of edits on my debut novel, which I finished in August of this year, and while I am sure it will still require more edits, I am reflecting for a moment on why I want to be published.

I presume most writers want to be published, and I am no different. I hope my writing is engaging, my hook strong enough, and my characters will be discovered by an agent who will want to champion them, and my debut novel, but I know the process is difficult.

I long for my novel to be discovered and published, but it is not for fame and fortune. Far from it.

Having an agent say they love my story and characters, and they want to get them out into the world is what I long for. Having an agent believe in me and the power of my words and saying, that, yes, the way I’ve strung sentences together and paired words, actually works, because this is a novel people will want to read, that is what I long for.

Maybe I am dreaming and living on cloud cuckoo land, but these are my true hopes and desires for the words I have toiled over for more than 2 years.

I want the world to meet the characters who have become real people to me, explore the little world I see in my mind anytime I read parts of my novel—the world I created, and I hope very much that an agent somewhere out there will feel the same.

I WROTE A BOOK!

It’s taken me 2+ years, seemingly endless drafts, and rewrites, and literally hundreds of late nights, but today I finished what I hope will become my debut novel. When I began writing this book, a psychological suspense story about loss, lies and the consequences of both, I could not have anticipated the sheer amount of work and dedication it would take. There were many times in its journey where I felt I would never write ‘the end.’

I began writing the book on a 6-month novel writing course with the Faber Academy, where the goal was to write the first 15K words. At that time, I had the tiniest seed of an idea, and used the course to not only learn the craft of writing, but also to figure out how to grow my tiny seed into a fully leafed tree. I learned lots and met other talented writers, most of whom had a lot more of their stories planned out than me. The encouragement and support from both my Faber tutor and classmates was invaluable (I plan to write some in-depth posts soon on the many writing classes/workshops I have taken—there are a lot!)

Once that course ended, I applied to take Faber’s 1-year novel writing course and was accepted. By this point, I had a much clearer idea where my story was headed and, as well as taking the Faber classes, was reading any books I could get my hands on about the craft of writing. (I will write a post soon about the books I found most helpful).

Sadly, during this course, I suffered a sudden family bereavement, which derailed me from my writing. I put my novel down as I felt unable to write. Despite not working on my novel, the itch to write never left me. I penned a story about the grief I was experiencing and wrote short pieces of work for a writing group I am part of. Eventually, the characters from my novel called me back, and I decided once and for all to complete it.

I knew my story at this point, but still felt I wanted help, advice and support from other writing professionals. A talented writer friend of mine introduced me to the Gold Dust mentoring scheme, which pairs an award-winning/best-selling author with writers and works one-on-one with them. It is an application-based scheme, which I applied for and was accepted on. (I will write a post detailing my experience soon).

The mentorship was phenomenal. My mentor gave me incredible and valuable feedback, which made me believe more in myself and my writing. As a result, I completed my novel and believe it is the best it can be at this point in my writing journey. I am so proud of it, of how my characters evolved, and how I turned a tiny seed into that fully leafed tree I’d dreamed of.

I am now editing it and getting it ready to query later this year. I hope that someday soon, I can write a post sharing its title and cover as it gets ready to be published.  

 

BECOME A HUMAN CAMERA

I’m currently reading a doorstop of a book: The Making of a Story, by Alice LaPlante (can highly recommend it for all writers). In chapter one there is a subsection about noticing—noticing things around us in our own unique way. In my real job, as a photographer, I pay attention to small details, details others likely miss. Details in ordinary, everyday scenes that allow me to then tell a story. I focus at a macro-level rather than a wide or longer view. This attention, I hope, spills over into my writing.

When reading this book’s sub chapter on noticing (whether that be macro, wide angle or zoom), I realized something profound. The way we each as people—writers—see and interpret our surroundings, our fragment of the world, will be different. I may see the rising sun as a flower blooming, you might see it as a red lollipop. This difference in how we see, if we stay true to it, is how we find our voice and express it on the page. My voice may come from noticing macro details, while yours may come from zooming out and seeing a bigger picture.

After reading this chapter a few days ago, the strangest thing happened early this morning. I woke earlier than normal today, and instead of laying in bed trying to fall back asleep, I got up. The sun was rising, but it was neither a blooming flower nor a lollipop at this stage, just a crimson streak of paint smeared across the horizon. I began my ritual of lifting the blinds in my house. When I raised the blind on a window that faces my back garden, something stared back at me. Something big and unexpected. I froze. Had the window not been there, I could have touched it. I won’t tell you yet what I saw (I am a suspense writer after all).

No, seriously, this is why I won’t tell you: I am sure the moment should be a part of the novel I am writing. I have since scribbled notes on a handful of Post-Its so I can figure out how this scene now affects my novel. I’ll need to alter some of what I have written (yet again!), but I know in the part of my heart dedicated to writing the best novel I can, it is the right thing to do. It was so powerful, I will even amend the end scene scene of my book to include it. It will make it stronger, more satisfying. I can see my ending now as it is is a scene in a movie.

Without wanting to sound overdramatic, this morning’s unexpected events have been emotional and inspiring. Had I lingered in bed half-asleep for even another twenty minutes, I would have missed it all - to me that is both profound and incredible. All will be revealed in the chapters of my novel and I will definitely mention this experience in my closing acknowledgements.

Going back to the excerpt from the book I am reading, which is where this post started, I’m going to pay more attention to everything around, in front and behind me—become a human camera that not only records what it sees but also what it smells, hears, feels. Our voices are created, I believe, from all these experiences and the way we uniquely interpret them. That is how our voice comes alive on a static page.

Today I will edit my novel to include what happened this morning in a way that makes sense to my story. I am sure that is why I got up early instead of falling back to sleep.

If you are writing today, pay attention to the small things happening around you. Trust your inner voice, listen to the words coming from your heart, head, and soul. Write simply. Write freely. Write with the voice and courage only you can have. If you are editing: same, same.

For anyone waiting to read posts about my experience with writing classes, they are coming soon.

Thanks for reading friends and happy writing. xx

RESET...

My last post here about my writing, was almost half a year ago. Unbelievable. Six months actually sounds like less time, but still that’s half a calendar’s worth of days.

Six months ago, I would have been sure my novel would have been finished by now, but unfortunately that is not the case. During those almost 180 days, many things have changed, both in my novel and my life.

While I’ll keep the personal stuff personal—I’m sure very few people are interested in my life outside of writing—I will share the writing stuff in case anyone reading finds it useful or inspiring.

Regarding my novel then...it has undergone yet more changes. I am presuming/hoping this is the norm for debut writers.

My beginning has changed YET again, my characters’ names have all changed, despite me spending literal days choosing them, and my book title has changed. All I believe for the better, otherwise why make them 😊

However, the premise of my story has remained the same. This, I am hoping, is a good thing. We’ll see.

Here are reasons behind some of the changes, in case you might be interested:

Names: Seems every book I picked up during the last few months had at least one character with the same first name as one of my characters. Not a huge issue, but I decided I wanted my characters’ names to be something different from those I was reading about.

Title: I changed my title to better reflect the storyline. I’m a lover of one word titles, especially for suspense novels, and am always drawn to books whose titles are one bold word, and I wanted the same for my novel. I love my current title and don’t foresee changing it again. (Can I uncross my fingers now?)

Characters: As mentioned in my last post, which I know I wrote yonks ago, I dropped one POV and added a new one from a new character. This was a very hard decision, as I lost half of my word count, but it was completely the right thing to do. Hopefully, you will meet my characters soon!

One of my biggest challenges in writing is to stop myself going backwards instead of forwards. I tend to edit my previous day’s writing before adding words. This may help me have a more polished first draft than if I just continued writing forward each day, but it also hinders me to a certain extent.

An example of this would be my opening chapter. I wrote, edited, wrote, edited it about twelve times (no lie), each time sure it was for the last time. Well, wrong. When I added the new character, I decided to almost completely rewrite chapter one—maybe the thirteenth time will be lucky—I am actually very happy with it now, and believe it is the best opening I have written yet. Until I rewrite it, of course. 😊

Along with rewriting and editing, the last six months have been busy with more creative writing classes. What can I say, I am a bit addicted to them. I plan to write a post solely about the different classes I have taken sometime soon, so if creative classes are something you are interested in, check back for my personal opinions on them, and a list of the ones I have taken.

I will close this rather lengthy post, by sharing, I am now at a chunky 58K, which is more than half-way there, I hope.

Weekly, possibly daily, update posts will be coming, as if nothing else, they’ll help me stay accountable.

If you are like me, knee-deep in your debut novel and at times you feel like giving up (like me), keep going. Word by edited word, we will get there. Persistence, stubbornness, dogged-determination, whatever you want to call it, that’s what will get us over the finish line. We can do this!

And just like that I have written more than 600 words. Why can’t they flow this easily and quickly for my novel? Asking for a friend :)

Happy writing friends,

Cat xx

END OF YEAR RECAP

Starting December, my word count tallied just over the 42K mark. My novel, which is a psychological suspense is being written from two POVs—a husband and wife—and my total word count is split pretty much between the two of them. Mid-December, I made the decision to drop one of the characters as a main POV and introduce a new character. This meant cutting about half of my manuscript. It also meant the parts left probably wouldn’t work with the new parts I would now need to write. So, guess what? 42K words in, I decided to start my novel all over again. Call this Draft 23 😊

I told myself I was mad, crazy, insane, yet, still I knew in my heart it was the right thing to do. The new character I introduced took over my mind and tried to take over my story. Her voice added an additional depth I did not realize was missing.

Needless to say, starting over when you have written half a novel is not easy, but better to do it at the midway point than at the end. Not everything I wrote was lost, a lot has been re-used or will be slightly re-written, but many thousands of words for now are binned. But it is okay. They are not wasted, they helped me find my writing voice for this novel.

Moral of this story is, if you feel something isn’t working, or isn’t quite right, trust your instincts. Better to begin a re-write at 42K than at 72K.

As the year ends, I close with about 17K.

Happy writing friends,

Cat xx